Dearest sweet Joseph,
So let's see, we're at 19 weeks, 2 days and I have only seen you via screens and print outs and listened to your heartbeat through a speaker but.. I am So. In. Love. With. You. I have watched people lose their homes, I've had to be on an EMS team that had to tell a family member that the one they loved was never coming back, I've seen joy, and I've seen loss and I am able to remain emotionally in control through it all... but when it comes to you, I cry. I cry thinking about your first sound, your first smile, the first time we get to hold you, the day you'll be born... You're almost always on my mind and each day I get more and more excited to meet you. You are truly my little miracle in so many ways. You came at the very last possible moment into my life and I am so thankful for that. We've had our ups and downs through this pregnancy. You've been inside mommy during her best times and some of her absolute worse but the thing is, we've gotten through it all and because we have, I know that the day we become a family will be one of the greatest days of my life. I am not perfect, and you'll see me mess up many times during your life but I promise to always love you, always give you the best that I can provide, to always be there for you no matter what and to be your biggest cheerleader as you succeed through life. You will mess up in life, none of us are perfect but I will teach you to learn from your mistakes and grow from them. I will teach you to love, to trust, to protect yourself and to be whoever you want to be.... because you'll always be my little boy. I won't lie, this world is scary and sometimes it terrifies me to bring you into it. Being a stay at home mom isn't an option for me (and most moms in this economy) and especially because I want you to have every opportunity in life possible that means I will have to stay in school to become an RN but know, that even though I am not with you 24/7, I will do all I can to ensure you are safe and have your needs fulfilled. And I can tell you, between your daddy and me and our protective instincts, there won't be a lot that can hurt you.
I love you and I don't even know you and I can't wait to feel my heart overwhelmed the day they place you in my arms for the first time. Thank you so much for blessing my life... I can't wait to see what the future holds for our family.
<3,
Your mommy.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Finally updating....
So, basically I haven't updated as I've been dealing with my personal life situations and really, those aren't approriate for public air. So I'm going to give everyone a summary of the pregnancy up until now and I promise to update more often. There are some things I'm going to keep off of here that are going on in my life, sorry but I've let the public into those aspects before and well... it just didn't go well.
So I'm 19 weeks tomorrow... almost halfway there! Time has flown and I'm trying to hold on that while I can. I absolutely cannot wait to meet my little man. And yes... speaking of man, IT'S A BOY. In September we will be meeting Joseph David Bouldin. We got to find out at 15 weeks 3 days and he was quite the ham for the ultrasound tech. Flexing, kicking, moving... great heartbeat! We get to see him again on April 17th for my 20 week check up (yep!!! We'll be halfway already!!!). Kimbra went with me to get registered at Buy Buy Baby and Target Baby and we had a blast. Looks like little man will have a fire truck nursery. I can't wait to start decorating. I have two showers planned, one here in South Carolina around June 30th (that I am trying to find a location for in the upstate, suggestions welcomed!) and then one in Texas June 18th. I have a busy next couple of months coming up which will make time fly. I am headed down to the beach in May to shoot a friend of a friend's wedding, I have my first 3D/4D ultrasound at the beginning of June, then the two baby showers... should be a fun way to start the summer :). Then at the end of all of that, the OB appointments will increase and the fun of getting ready for Jo begins. I've been so thankful for the support I've received from all over, especially when we had a scare when I took a tumble off a ladder. My doula is fabulous, and the friends and family I have couldn't be better. I did officially take a Leave of Absence due to my lift restrictions per my OB from the EMS group I work for. I plan on going back full force mid-October and will be very glad to get back on the truck. I'm still working about 48 hours at the hospital though I know that's getting ready to wrap up as I am absolutely worn out.
So how am I today? Well today is Easter and I decided to stay home. This morning I woke up with what felt like an ear infection but I think was actually a bad case of vertigo. I got over it in a couple of hours after eating (with difficulty) and some meds. I am trying to have a medicine-free pregnancy but it looks like Tylenol and Tums (ahhh heartburn) won't be going anywhere. I did get my kitchen and master bathroom sparkling (and I do mean the bathroom looks GREAT) but then I was absolutely exhausted. Came downstairs to eat and bam... sickness hit again. I am fixing to try to fix me some spaghetti and eat but I am not getting my hopes up. Tomorrow I start my last 3-4 weeks of Microbiology so I've got to hold on strong. Otherwise this has been a wonderful pregnancy. I am such a blessed little momma. I am going to attempt to finish the master bedroom tonight but... I think I may have just found out that my body now has limits. I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter and this finds you well.
Always,
B <3
p.s. I have deleted some previous posts... things have changed and there's parts of this pregnancy that little man just doesn't need to know. Just in case anyone wondered.
So I'm 19 weeks tomorrow... almost halfway there! Time has flown and I'm trying to hold on that while I can. I absolutely cannot wait to meet my little man. And yes... speaking of man, IT'S A BOY. In September we will be meeting Joseph David Bouldin. We got to find out at 15 weeks 3 days and he was quite the ham for the ultrasound tech. Flexing, kicking, moving... great heartbeat! We get to see him again on April 17th for my 20 week check up (yep!!! We'll be halfway already!!!). Kimbra went with me to get registered at Buy Buy Baby and Target Baby and we had a blast. Looks like little man will have a fire truck nursery. I can't wait to start decorating. I have two showers planned, one here in South Carolina around June 30th (that I am trying to find a location for in the upstate, suggestions welcomed!) and then one in Texas June 18th. I have a busy next couple of months coming up which will make time fly. I am headed down to the beach in May to shoot a friend of a friend's wedding, I have my first 3D/4D ultrasound at the beginning of June, then the two baby showers... should be a fun way to start the summer :). Then at the end of all of that, the OB appointments will increase and the fun of getting ready for Jo begins. I've been so thankful for the support I've received from all over, especially when we had a scare when I took a tumble off a ladder. My doula is fabulous, and the friends and family I have couldn't be better. I did officially take a Leave of Absence due to my lift restrictions per my OB from the EMS group I work for. I plan on going back full force mid-October and will be very glad to get back on the truck. I'm still working about 48 hours at the hospital though I know that's getting ready to wrap up as I am absolutely worn out.
So how am I today? Well today is Easter and I decided to stay home. This morning I woke up with what felt like an ear infection but I think was actually a bad case of vertigo. I got over it in a couple of hours after eating (with difficulty) and some meds. I am trying to have a medicine-free pregnancy but it looks like Tylenol and Tums (ahhh heartburn) won't be going anywhere. I did get my kitchen and master bathroom sparkling (and I do mean the bathroom looks GREAT) but then I was absolutely exhausted. Came downstairs to eat and bam... sickness hit again. I am fixing to try to fix me some spaghetti and eat but I am not getting my hopes up. Tomorrow I start my last 3-4 weeks of Microbiology so I've got to hold on strong. Otherwise this has been a wonderful pregnancy. I am such a blessed little momma. I am going to attempt to finish the master bedroom tonight but... I think I may have just found out that my body now has limits. I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter and this finds you well.
Always,
B <3
p.s. I have deleted some previous posts... things have changed and there's parts of this pregnancy that little man just doesn't need to know. Just in case anyone wondered.
Friday, January 13, 2012
First book
So I'm going to read to the baby every night and even though it's probably too early for it to hear a thing I say I started tonight. I found out that this is the worst book to read when hormones are raging... I barely got through it!
On a side note...
Alright so I wanted to reach out with this post.
I'm going to have to create a guest room with my office (So I'm going from a master bedroom, guest room, and office to a master bedroom, office/guest room and nursery) because I have family coming to stay over the summer and my mom is coming down when the baby is born to help me. If anyone has some extra furniture (preferably just a dresser, and a full/queen bed though a twin will work too) please let me know. And if someone has any extra nursery furniture I'm up for that too. Just let me know the price and if its reasonable I'll consider it. If you want to come over to help me paint, clean and organize, feel free to do that too!
Y'all know me and know it's hard for me to ask for help but if I feel this exhausted during my first trimester, I know I won't be able to move by the end of this pregnancy lol.
<3 B
I'm going to have to create a guest room with my office (So I'm going from a master bedroom, guest room, and office to a master bedroom, office/guest room and nursery) because I have family coming to stay over the summer and my mom is coming down when the baby is born to help me. If anyone has some extra furniture (preferably just a dresser, and a full/queen bed though a twin will work too) please let me know. And if someone has any extra nursery furniture I'm up for that too. Just let me know the price and if its reasonable I'll consider it. If you want to come over to help me paint, clean and organize, feel free to do that too!
Y'all know me and know it's hard for me to ask for help but if I feel this exhausted during my first trimester, I know I won't be able to move by the end of this pregnancy lol.
<3 B
5 days...
So less than 5 days and I will get to see my little munchkin. I'm so excited y'all and I can not wait. I am nervous to find out where I truly am in my pregnancy, I know the first question out of my mouth is going to be "WHATS THE HEARTRATE?". Blame the healthcare worker in me. I'm showing some major signs. Things are getting bigger (lol!) and my face is getting a little rounder even though it's not truly getting more fat (if that makes sense..). I'm getting through the horrible acne phase and I couldn't be more thankful for that. My eating habits are currently really weird. I went into the pickle phase yesterday about coming across the subway girl when she hardly put any pickles on my sandwich. I'm just excited at every little sign I see. As much as I hate the situation surrounding it, I love being pregnant (take note I am currently not in nauseous mode). The baby brain is still there as I occassionally have to be reminded of things to do at work. I'm truly hoping to get over that quick. It doesn't help that there's some drama going on but I am truly trying to put that behind me and move on.
So... today is going to be my doula appointment with Jenn. If y'all are nice I'll make a starbucks trip (don't worry, I am all about some smoothies and passion tea right now. no coffee) on Sunday to update you guys on that. I'm really excited about doing this birth the way I want to. GHS is VERY supportive in family oriented birth so I'm glad to work for that company as my insurance requires me to have my baby with them unless it's an emergency. I'm still working my oh so lovely 60 hour weeks though I'm hoping to take a break from that at the end of February. I'm trying to save up every little bit that I can. I'm still not working 24 hours at Oconee as I don't want to set my sleep schedule off too much.
Anyways, current cravings are white chocolate pretzels and pickles. I'm successfully weaning off my caffeine even though I have to have a little of it here and there to keep out of DTs. No alcohol still though I do get a virgin margarita everywhere I go. And I am trying this whole rest and relaxation thing when I go home even though I want to scrub the house clean.
So anyways, off to take my microbiology quiz. This is my last semester for this year as a full time student. I'm going to remain at Greenville Tech for the fall semester taking 2 online classes (probably nutrition and spanish) to get ready for USC Nursing and then I'll hit the ground running in Spring 2013 for my nursing degree since I have a little more motivation.
Watch next week for ultrasound photos :).
B
So... today is going to be my doula appointment with Jenn. If y'all are nice I'll make a starbucks trip (don't worry, I am all about some smoothies and passion tea right now. no coffee) on Sunday to update you guys on that. I'm really excited about doing this birth the way I want to. GHS is VERY supportive in family oriented birth so I'm glad to work for that company as my insurance requires me to have my baby with them unless it's an emergency. I'm still working my oh so lovely 60 hour weeks though I'm hoping to take a break from that at the end of February. I'm trying to save up every little bit that I can. I'm still not working 24 hours at Oconee as I don't want to set my sleep schedule off too much.
Anyways, current cravings are white chocolate pretzels and pickles. I'm successfully weaning off my caffeine even though I have to have a little of it here and there to keep out of DTs. No alcohol still though I do get a virgin margarita everywhere I go. And I am trying this whole rest and relaxation thing when I go home even though I want to scrub the house clean.
So anyways, off to take my microbiology quiz. This is my last semester for this year as a full time student. I'm going to remain at Greenville Tech for the fall semester taking 2 online classes (probably nutrition and spanish) to get ready for USC Nursing and then I'll hit the ground running in Spring 2013 for my nursing degree since I have a little more motivation.
Watch next week for ultrasound photos :).
B
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
One week...
So first of all, I'm not one to believe in coincidences at all so the fact that today is one month from the worst day of my life AND one week from my ultrasound gives me hope that this baby was placed in my life in such an unsteady time for a reason.
Here's a little humor...
If you see the picture (I'm mobile blogging since my Internet is off at home unexpectantly) my due date is labor day!!!! How crazy is that? I just discovered it when writing in my calendar. So who knows!
Life has been a little rocky, I'm trying to dig out of the mess I was left. I'm excited about the baby but worried about who will be in its life. I will say that the people who have been supportive are incredible and that's coming from not only my family and friends but Cory's too. I can't wait to meet our little bundle of joy.
So I'm asking for prayers. My nausea is still there but eating pretzels helps. I'm going to continue working 60 hour weeks even if I would rather not to try to stay steady financially through all of this. I'm strong, I'll make it. I've been praying for strength, guidance and for this child to have both of its parents no matter their relationship with each other.
B
Here's a little humor...
If you see the picture (I'm mobile blogging since my Internet is off at home unexpectantly) my due date is labor day!!!! How crazy is that? I just discovered it when writing in my calendar. So who knows!
Life has been a little rocky, I'm trying to dig out of the mess I was left. I'm excited about the baby but worried about who will be in its life. I will say that the people who have been supportive are incredible and that's coming from not only my family and friends but Cory's too. I can't wait to meet our little bundle of joy.
So I'm asking for prayers. My nausea is still there but eating pretzels helps. I'm going to continue working 60 hour weeks even if I would rather not to try to stay steady financially through all of this. I'm strong, I'll make it. I've been praying for strength, guidance and for this child to have both of its parents no matter their relationship with each other.
B
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