A letter to my unborn child....

Dearest sweet Joseph,

So let's see, we're at 19 weeks, 2 days and I have only seen you via screens and print outs and listened to your heartbeat through a speaker but.. I am So. In. Love. With. You. I have watched people lose their homes, I've had to be on an EMS team that had to tell a family member that the one they loved was never coming back, I've seen joy, and I've seen loss and I am able to remain emotionally in control through it all... but when it comes to you, I cry. I cry thinking about your first sound, your first smile, the first time we get to hold you, the day you'll be born... You're almost always on my mind and each day I get more and more excited to meet you. You are truly my little miracle in so many ways. You came at the very last possible moment into my life and I am so thankful for that. We've had our ups and downs through this pregnancy. You've been inside mommy during her best times and some of her absolute worse but the thing is, we've gotten through it all and because we have, I know that the day we become a family will be one of the greatest days of my life. I am not perfect, and you'll see me mess up many times during your life but I promise to always love you, always give you the best that I can provide, to always be there for you no matter what and to be your biggest cheerleader as you succeed through life. You will mess up in life, none of us are perfect but I will teach you to learn from your mistakes and grow from them. I will teach you to love, to trust, to protect yourself and to be whoever you want to be.... because you'll always be my little boy. I won't lie, this world is scary and sometimes it terrifies me to bring you into it. Being a stay at home mom isn't an option for me (and most moms in this economy) and especially because I want you to have every opportunity in life possible that means I will have to stay in school to become an RN but know, that even though I am not with you 24/7, I will do all I can to ensure you are safe and have your needs fulfilled. And I can tell you, between your daddy and me and our protective instincts, there won't be a lot that can hurt you.

I love you and I don't even know you and I can't wait to feel my heart overwhelmed the day they place you in my arms for the first time. Thank you so much for blessing my life... I can't wait to see what the future holds for our family.

<3,
Your mommy.